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Talk:Ben Revere/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 01:59, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
General
  • Images are good
    • Forgetting how to do this; will do if you can remind me, or perhaps I can look at the WP page on it - tomorrow, too tired at the moment.
    • In short, describe what the image conveys. So for the infobox image, something like "A baseball player looks intently at a play off camera as he prepares to step to his right. His uniform consists of white, pinstriped pants and a blue jersey with the word "TWINS" written in red across his chest." Resolute 13:46, 21 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
plus Added
  • References look good
  • Small formatting nitpicks:
    • There isn't a need to note ESPN, NBC or CBS as both the work and the publisher in the same reference. It's redundant.
    • I can remove, but ESPN Internet Ventures is the publisher, while ESPN is the work, or CBS Interactive vs. CBSSports.com, etc. Let me know what you think.
    • As I said, it is a nitpick, and I won't hold up a review on it if you prefer to leave the references as-is. Personally though, I only use the work parameter for printed sources. For an ESPN link, I simply list it as publisher=ESPN. Adding another "ESPN Internet Ventures" doesn't tell the reader anything not already understood by "ESPN". But, as I said, personal preference. You don't have to change if you don't wish to. Resolute 13:46, 21 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • If you don't mind, then, I think I will leave as is.
    • It helps to give the location of newspapers that don't include it as part of their names, like how ref 36 is.
    • Not seeing any others whose location cannot be extrapolated from the name of the paper, except for the News-Journal in Delaware, but Delaware Online is also in the ref, which makes that one self-explanatory. If I missed one, again let me know.
    • Don't see any reference that is The Gazette; definitely not 27. Am I blind or are you mistaken?
Lead
  • I'm going to practically re-write the lead for you.  ;) How about: "He played baseball at Lexington Catholic High School where he received several awards during his junior and senior seasons. Revere was selected in the first round of the 2007 Major League Baseball Draft by the Minnesota Twins and played in their farm system for three seasons before being called up to the majors in late 2010."?
  • I am personally terrible for comma abuse as well, but perhaps lead the second paragraph with "He began the 2013 season as the Phillies leadoff hitter before being moved down in the lineup following an injury." ?
  • The "He has never hit a home run in the major leagues" piece is tough because it will likely change at some point, so you'll have to be wary of that. Although, eventually changing it to "He wen't ### at bats/games before hitting his first home run" would easily update when it finally happens without changing the context of that statement.
  • Agreed, though in watching him play, he may never hit one. That said, if he does, that can be changed.
Early life
  • You note the towns in Georgia Revere grew up in in the lead, but not his early life section. As a consequence, this is also uncited.
  • Tweaked early life section - that is supported in the media guide.
  • (Interjection: But god are Media Guides ever useful, eh?)
  • Yes.
Minor League career
  • You don't need to state twice that he was drafted. I'd probably move ref 3 up to cite his selection in the early life section, and use ref 2 to support what came prior to that statement. Then begin with something like "Minnesota assigned Revere to the Gulf Coast League Twins..."?
  • Tweaked.
  • plus Added his full season stats at end.
  • The note that Baseball America ranked Revere as its fifth best prospect in the Twins system seems misplaced. I would probably put it in front of the statement that he was assigned to New Britain.
  • Shuffled.
Minnesota Twins
  • Second paragraph is unreferenced.
  •  Not done Will get to that when I am more awake.
  •  Fixed - removed one item I couldn't find reffed
  • No need to mention the 2012 season twice. Also, do you have any idea if his 21-game hitting streak was anywhere close to a major league high that season? If that isn't known (or isn't close), don't worry about it.
  • This is a tad perplexing. The ESPN box score says that he had a 21 game hitting streak as a game note, so I went to corroborate and see if it was the best of the season by going to their hit streak listings, and oddly enough, he isn't listed at all here ... I would be inclined to dump the stat, but what do you think. Did I goof somewhere?
  • The game recap associated with that box score says the same. His game log supports the statement, so I would leave it in. I suspect he didn't make the other list because he did not play that July 24 game. So this presents a catch-22. A 21-game hitting streak was the third-longest in the AL/MLB, but there is no source for that, so we can't say it. *sigh*. The statement is fine as is, then. Resolute 14:04, 21 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Philadelphia Phillies
  • Anywhere specific, or just generally? I agree that the Phillies section is a tad choppy and needs to be more mellifluous, but is there anywhere else you noticed that?
  • The Boston Marathon bombing paragraph just doesn't feel right. I think it might read better if you focused on his being praised rather than the image going viral. Particularly since neither of the on-line references state that the image went viral.
  •  Not done Will analyze tomorrow as well.
  • "In late April 2013, Revere sustained an injury to his quadriceps that he worsened in a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates on April 24." - Reword to avoid mentioning "April" twice.
  • Don't need to mention the year repeatedly when it is given that the dates all occur in the same calendar year.
  • "He managed to gain two hits in a game against the Miami Marlins on June 3, stole two bases, and stopped an extra-base hit from Adeiny Hechavarria." - I'd start with either "He managed two hits..." or "He gained two hits..."
    •  Fixed
  • "He has since gotten much more consistent since moving back into the leadoff spot on May 27." - Temporal statement that will rapidly lose relevance. Likewise, the two-run triple just doesn't seem important.
  • The date of the Phillies publishing an article is not especially relevant. Better to say that he was initially expected to miss six-to-eight weeks, but that the team later stated there was no timetable for his return.
Scouting report
  • Revere's name is given quite frequently, often twice in the same sentence. Perhaps add a little variety?
  • Added some "he"s and "him"s where appropriate.
Personal
  • The first sentence probably belongs at the head of the scouting report section, but if moved, would leave this section quite thin.
  • Not sure - the "full-throttle style of play" seems to also reflect his personality, which is why I included it in this section ... perhaps it could be split off and the first half of the sentence could go into the scouting report while leaving the personality tidbit in the personal section? Though the "full-throttle style of play" would fit in neither offense nor defense. Hmm. Thoughts here?
Overall
    • OK, I think I have hit everything - I tweaked the Boston bombings section to include a quote from him and also note the catch he made with the glove in the subsequent game. In regards to the full throttle style of play in the personality section, I think it should be left there, because a) playing as hard as possible is a personality trait and b) the first sentence in the offensive section of the scouting report says roughly the same thing. Go Phightins! 23:48, 25 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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